So You Think You're a Trans Ally?
Just how far are you willing to go along with activists' demands? A thought experiment in 11 parts.
A lot has happened in recent years and regardless of how much you know about trans rights activism, you may feel confused, for example, about how issues such as the Gender Recognition Act and the push for Self-ID laws could impact upon you and your family. Most of us like to think of ourselves as ‘progressive’, but in the eyes of the trans rights activists, you may be surprised to find how behind with the times you are!
The aim here is to demonstrate how far down the line we have gone, with regards to ‘inclusion’ and how, at some point, many people could be suddenly faced with a scenario they weren’t expecting and be somewhat shocked.
So – I will try and be as balanced as possible, but my aim is to show how unsustainable self-ID is and how it is storing up problems for the future.
I will list some scenarios that most of us will ordinarily find ourselves in and use some imagery to accompany and demonstrate the problems arising from them.
Shall we begin?
Example 1
Imagine, you take your daughter to a Spa and you’re in the women’s bathing area. You both see somebody walking towards you. That somebody appears to be a man, beard and penis included. You’re instinct is to think, ‘wait what?! This can’t be right’.
What do you do? Do you say something? Well…some would say it’s ‘transphobic’ to ask, so, the you are left panicking and mulling over in your mind, what to do next. You could leave the area, but that would draw attention to you. You could leave anyway and go and complain, but who knows what will be said in response.
The question arising from this scenario? How do you know if this is someone just wanting to get on with their life or someone who is taking advantage of a situation? You can’t ask and you can’t question the person. According to trans people, the only person who truly knows, is the bearded, penis owner.
The general rule here appears to be, either ‘educate’ yourself and your daughter or, if you don’t like it, don’t look, or further still, maybe that space isn’t for you after all.
Example 2
Your lesbian friend has joined a dating app and she goes out to meet her first date. Late that evening, she calls you, struggling to speak because she’s sobbing. Her date had been going ok but at some point, she noticed a protruding lump down below in her date’s clothes. As she struggles to speak, she eventually explains that she panicked because she didn’t expect her date to have an erection and now she feels really bad, because the date became upset and stormed off. She confessed she was repulsed by the erection because…she’s a lesbian. What do you do? How do you support your friend? You know her well, she’s lovely and accepting, not at all ‘exclusionary’. Do you attempt to ‘re-educate’ her?
Some trans people would call her a bigot, or immoral because, according to some activists, “genital preferences are rooted in transphobia”. One prominent figure goes as far as saying it’s “immoral”.
Example 3
You walk into some women's public toilets and see a male, with plenty of facial hair, standing at the mirrors, checking his face. You instinctively slow down and hesitate. You hear a small girl and her mother in one of the cubicles. You thought you were going to say something, but change your mind, thinking, ‘what if he becomes aggressive?’ Then you think, ‘transwoman’? But how do you know? You aren’t allowed to ask and you shouldn’t stare because…
Example 4
You need to go for a mammogram at the local hospital. When you finally go into the appointment, the person who is to examine you and handle your breasts clearly has a deep, male voice. You are taken aback and stumble to say something, but it doesn’t quite come out.
Well – if you were to say something, it would likely be seen as ‘transphobic’. Just look at what happened to this woman (see images below) who had made it clear she wanted a female to assist her. Her letter was then used as an example of transphobia by the hospital trust in their ‘Trans-Guidelines’.
Example 5
You have a friend who has experienced the most horrendous domestic violence and sexual abuse at the hands of her ex-partner. She needs to find a safe place which provides support and help appropriate to her situation, so you research rape crisis shelters for her. You finally find somewhere and she arrives safe and well. Later that night, she calls you in a bit of a state. She says she can hear a male’s voice but can’t work out where it's coming from and wonders if she's just traumatised and hearing things. You try to reassure her and you finish the call with her feeling better.
She calls you again at a later point, stressing about the place. She says she thought the shelter was women only, but she can’t stop thinking about the voice and possibility of a man being present in the shelter. What do you do? Do you ask the shelter about their policy? If you do and they say, it’s definitely women only…do you push further? You feel the urgency of the situation and how important it is to get some clarity for everyone’s sake so you take a deep breath and definitively ask them if they have a ‘trans-inclusion’ policy, to which they say, “yes, we include ‘all women’ in our shelter”.
Your immediate thought is, ‘how do they know this isn’t someone taking advantage’? It’s transphobic to ask. How does anyone know for sure? Especially as it’s against their dignity to ask. Of course, if rape crisis shelters ever did try to make their building, strictly female only with no self-ID, they could expect to be defunded, as many have. In fact in one case, in Canada, the centre received death threats which were daubed on windows along with a dead rat nailed to the entrance.
According to this male political representative (in the image above), the death threats and the rat were apparently a “predictable response to their conduct”. This seems to suggest, death threats are fine if you feel rape crisis centres should be female sex only.
Example 6
You are a teacher in a college and work with an ethnically diverse range of disabled learners. Some learners find it hard to navigate the building due to physical difficulties and need to use the toilets which are closest to them. Bearing this in mind, one day, one of your female Muslim learners approaches you in an agitated state. She manages to explain that there appears to be a male in the women's toilets. When she looked shocked, the other person said, "I'm allowed to be in here". At a loss for words, you assure her you will try to find out what is going on. It becomes apparent, the other person self-identifies as a woman and as per the college policy, is using the women’s toilets. You look into the policy further to find out more details. The policy is clear, that toilets can be used by those who identify as that 'sex'. Furthermore, if someone else has a concern about it, it is *they* who are "permitted" to use a different facility. While the policy references ‘staff’, the same would definitely apply to learners. But your learner finds it hard to walk far around the building.
Then, you notice another reference in the policy...notably, that if you even so much as raise a concern about a transgender colleague/person, you will be seen as a bully and harassing of trans people. Worse still - any failure to...”work cooperatively" could see you being sacked.
Example 7
Your daughter has her own device and has been on social media for a year or so already. She has a Facebook account and regularly accesses a range of other social media forums. You're connected with her on FB and occasionally you keep track of what she and her friends post. One day, you notice one of her friends posting a number of memes with the statement, "SHUT THE FUCK UP TERF" in them. One or two of them are quite violent, with imagery of a gun pointing directly at the viewer. A little concerned about this, you wonder if you should say something about it. But as you double check the comments under the post (your daughter has yet to react/respond), you notice one girl has objected, saying the memes seem a little “aggressive”.
The poster replies by telling her to "fuck off bitch" and issues a threat for the next time she see her. You hesitate again, not knowing what to do. You're not quite sure if your daughter agrees with the sentiments of the poster, but equally, you wonder whether you should intervene and say something pre-emptively and for fear of your daughter being targetted.
Example 8
You're browsing the news and stumble across a harrowing news article about a paedophile who accessed thousands of child abuse images. But you're confused...the image/name of the paedophile most definitely appears to be a male, but the article refers to 'woman' and 'she'. You dig further and find other, published pieces about the same person and find that they have also referred to the criminal as 'she/her' and 'woman'. What do you do? Do you complain about it? You know enough to know that if you do, you might be called a bigot.
Example 9
Your best friend has been through a difficult time in her life, where she was involved in an abusive relationship with a man. She developed PTSD as a result of the abuse and trauma and as her life became more chaotic, she eventually went to prison for a petty crime. As you are the only reliable person in her life, you regularly keep in touch with her and visit while she's inside. One day, she explains to you that there is a new prisoner who has caused a stir, chiefly, because the prisoner is a male. Rumours abound over what the crime was. While the male prisoner is about, there is a sense of nervousness in the women there. Your friend explains that she is secretly quite terrified. It seems after exiting her abusive relationship, it's left her feeling anxious around males. What do you do? How do you reassure her?
This (above) is Karen White, a convicted paedophile, on remand for grievous bodily harm, burglary, multiple rapes and other sexual offences against women. Despite legally being male, he was housed in a women’s prison because he identified as such. While inside, he sexually assaulted two other inmates.
Example 10
Your daughter is very sporty. At school, she has broken longstanding records for the 400m race and she has a realistic chance of qualifying for the 'English Schools' athletics finals. One day, she returns from competing in a competition and appears despondent. You notice that she seems depressed and ask her if she's okay. She explains that there is a new competitor who has emerged in the 400m, from a neighbouring town. The athlete is male but identifies as a girl and will be competing in the next county championships. She heard about it while talking with her friends, who said that rumour had it, the athlete was smashing previous records with times that were clearly out of her reach. She now realises, that she may have had a chance of being a champion - but now that seems unrealistic.
2016, Telfer ranked at 200.
2017, Telfer ranked at 390.
2018, Telfer transitioned to ‘female’.
2019 - Telfer became national champion.
Example 11
It's the summer holidays and as part of your plan to entertain your young kids (3 and 5) for the 6 weeks period, you take them to an event at the local library. As you walk in, there is a buzz of excitement as parents and kids settle down for the reading time. Then, to nervous gasps and jittery/stifled giggles, a person in a multi-coloured monkey outfit runs out with a huge mock penis dangling between its legs. Most of the children look confused (as do the parents), one or two laugh, but a few react with terror and begin to cry.
Nobody quite knows what to do. One father promptly gets up to 'shoo' the monkey person away from the area. This seems to unsettle the kids more, because of the added tension between their parents and the bepenised monkey. Your own kids are a bit freaked out out so you quietly leave. Afterwards however, you notice that the event has been widely broadcast on social media, to the outrage of many. You also notice that a trans-identifying person responds by accusing those who have a problem with it, of holding suspect views and shouldn't be near any kids.
You were going to complain, but now you are anxious about having the tables turned on you. You were adamant that you wanted to protect your kids from something that seemed inappropriate and which scared them, but equally, you don’t want to be accused of being a risk to kids.
To conclude, it is clear that any number of scenarios could present themselves at any time. Will you be prepared? Will you be able to counter any accusation that you are being ‘phobic’ or ‘anti-trans’? Will you be able to say or do anything without being labelled a ‘bigot’? Sadly, unless you go along with every single situation here, the answer will be ‘no’.
Even so, in the words of Audre Lorde, “your silence will not protect you”.
The only thing left to do now is to speak up, while you can.